1. Philosophy.

2. Peer Mediator Guidelines.

3. Active Listening.

4. Active Listening Observer Checklist.

5. Mediation.

6. Checklist for a Good Resolution.

7. Mediator's Promise.

8. The Mediation Process.

9. Telling the Story.

10. Finding Solutions.

11. Reporting.

Conflict is a natural part of living together and it can be an opportunity for learning important life skills.

Mediation offers a means of resolving conflicts cooperatively. Mediators help people who are having a conflict listen to each other and find a solution to their problem. The goal of the mediation is to help each person listen to the other person's side of the story so that she/he can see the whole story and not only her/his point of view. The disputants (people having the conflict) are responsible for finding a fair solution to their problem.

As a mediator you will use good problem solving and communication skills to help others solve their problems.

A mediator.....

Listens carefully ..... does not interrupt.

Communicates clearly.

Treats each person with respect.

Remains neutral ..... does not take sides.

Does not give advice or offer an opinion.

Does not look for innocence or guilt.

Helps the disputants find a solution to their problem.

Active listening is when a listener tries to understand both the facts and feelings of the speaker. The listener then restates what she/he has heard to make sure she/he has heard correctly.

A good listener shows understanding through .....

• Tone of voice.

• Facial expressions.

• Gestures.

• Eye contact.

• Posture.

• Asking questions to understand.

A good listener does not .....

• Interrupt.

• Offer advice.

• Give her/his opinion.

• Bring up similar feelings or problems.

• Agree of disagree with what is being said.

Speaker:

• Looked attentively at the other person.

• Spoke clearly.

• Used gestures.

• Used appropriate facial features.

Listener:

• Looked attentively at the speaker.

• Listened without interrupting.

• Used non-verbal encouragement (head nodding, facial gestures, etc.).

• Used verbal responses (uh - huh, yes, etc.).

• Summarized accurately what was said.

Introductions and Ground Rules:

• Introduce yourselves and explain your role as mediators.

• Have the disputants agree to four ground rules:
  • Listen without interrupting.
  • No name-calling or put downs.
  • Agree to tell the truth.
  • Agree to try hard to solve the problem.

• Explain that you will keep everything said during the mediation confidential.

Telling the Story:

• Ask disputant #1 to tell what happened.

• Summarize what was said.

• Ask disputant #1 how he or she feels about what happened and why.

• Summarize the feelings.

• Ask disputant #2 to tell what happened.

• Summarize what was said.

• Ask disputant #2 how he or she feels about what happened and why.

• Summarize the feelings.

Finding Solutions:

• Ask disputant #1 what he or she can do to solve the problem.

• Ask disputant #2 what he or she can do to solve the problem.

• Get an agreement to a solution from both disputants.

• Ask disputant #1 what he or she would do differently if this problem happened again.

• Ask disputant #2 what he or she would do differently if this problem happened again.

• Congratulate the disputants for solving their problem.

• Fill out the report form.

1. Is the resolution specific enough? Does it tell:

   • When.

   • Where.

   • How.

   • Who.

2. Is the resolution balanced? Do both disputants share responsibility for making it work?

3. Can both disputants do what they promise?

4. Will the resolution solve the problem?

5. Will the resolution solve the problem for good?

I Promise:

To be fair and honest.

To keep what is said in mediation sessions confidential.

To resolve my own conflicts peacefully.

To make up work I miss in class.

To attend mediator meetings.

To serve as a mediator for at least one year

Student's Signature: ______________________________________________

Parent's Signature:_______________________________________________

Teacher's Signature:______________________________________________

Date:_________________________________________________________

Introduction and Commitment:

• Introduce yourselves and ask the disputants if they would like help solving their problem. If both say yes, explain your role.

  We can help you talk about your problem but we will not judge who is right or wrong. We will not tell you what you should do to solve the problem but we will help you solve it yourselves.

• Tell the students that everything said is confidential. (You may need to explain 'confidential' to younger children.)

• Ask each disputant:

  • Do you agree to listen without interrupting?

  • Do you agree to no name-calling or put-downs?

  • Do you agree to tell the truth?

  • Do you agree to try hard to solve the problem?

NOTE: Disputants must agree to these rules to continue. If they start but break one of the rules, you can give thema warning. If they continue to break a rule after the warning, you must stop the mediation and tell your coordinator that you were not able to continue.

Decide who will start. It is often a good idea to ask the student who appears to be most angry begin.

• Ask disputant #1:What happened?

• Summarize.

• Ask disputant #1:How do you feel about this?

• Summarize.

• Ask disputant #2:What happened?

• Summarize.

• Ask disputant #2:How do you feel about this?

• Summarize.

• Ask disputant #1:What can you do to solve this problem?

• Ask disputant #2:What can you do to solve this problem?

  You may have to brainstorm some ideas to assist with solutions !!!!!

• Get an agreement to a solution from both disputants. Think about the "Checklist for a Good Resolution."

• Ask disputant #1:What would you do differently if this problem happened again?

• Ask disputant #2:What would you do differently if this problem happened again?

• Congratulate the disputants on solving their problem.

  OR

• Refer the situation back to an adult if after approximately 25 minutes you seem to be at a standstill.

• Fill out the mediation report.

• Ask the disputants to read the report and sign it if they agree that it represents their solution.
  If an agreement is not met and you have to refer back to an adult, indicate this on your report.

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